Steven Universe: Broken Song
by DaemonSol
Summary: Major spoilers if you haven't seen up to season 4, you have been warned. A general Lapidot one-shot that I've wanted to share. Cover Image commissioned from Myuto Eve Patreon is /MyutoEve/


Spoiler Alert: If you have not watched Steven Universe up to at least the fourth season, you will get major spoilers here, and it'll be somewhat hard to follow.

It's a beautiful mid-morning day at the Barn, Lapis is humming a little tune as she fiddles with her latest meep morp, a simpler one that normal, just a concrete slab that's she's using high pressure water to carves an image out of. Slowly an image of Steven is taking form, she'd been thinking lately about the day they met, and how once he realized that Lapis was alive within the mirror, he didn't hesitate to save her. Lapis frowns as her thoughts drift because of Steven. The boy was honestly too nice for his own good. No matter who it is, if he can help them he doesn't hesitate to try. A small smile. Peridot has also benefited from Steven's niceness, and like Lapis has grown so fond of him.

"Peridot...I wonder if she'll want to give this a touch of her own." She smirked, wonder what silly way she'd try to use her metal powers to "help". "Where is she anyway, I thought she'd be back by now."

Lapis stood up then, returning the water she was using back into the toilet meep morp she borrowed it from. She made her way outside the barn, smiling at the warm sun. Peridot had said that she wanted to work on the corn field a bit, but that was early this morning. The water wings sprang from Lapis' back and she took flight, soaring over to the corn fields. After a few moments of flying, she spotted Peridot, well hidden among the corn. She was only able to spot her by luck when she passed directly over her. She was lying on the ground with a couple items around her and she seemed to be writing on one. Swooping down, Lapis went to see what she was doing. She had to stop herself from giggling as she sneaked down to her friend.

* * *

"Hm, would probably have some kind of visor like mine..." Peridot mumbled as she scribbled a couple different versions of visors and goggles and one set of shades similar to Garnets. "But Lapis would make them...cooler? Yeah, maybe like that." Peridot draws a visor that looks like the "cool" sun shades she saw on the internet. At this she looks over all her different drawings, a sad smile on her face. She'd spent most of the morning working on this little "project", since she'd been thinking about fusion again thanks to that incident the other day at the Beta Kindergarten where Steven and Amethyst fused into Smoky Quartz. A while back Garnet had offered to fuse with her so she could experience it, but she'd backed out, not ready. Garnet had been really kind then, saying that it was okay if she wasn't ready, and that the offer would always be there. Peridot felt like she was ready to fuse now, but she only really wanted to fuse with Lapis right now. Unfortunately, thanks to what happened between her and Jasper, it was unlikely she'd be okay with fusing anytime soon.

"What would our name be?" Peridot grabs one of the more complete drawings of a potential fusion and starts listing names in the margin of the notebook. "Blue/green gems...Amazonite...Labradorite...Turquoise...Piypite? No, too green." Peridot smirks as she crosses out the name, when suddenly a soft voice comes from behind her.

"Peridot? What is this?"

Peridot's eyes widen as she screeches in surprise, "Lapis!?" She quickly scrabbles to try and grab the drawing and pull them to her chest to hide them. "What are you doing here?!"

In her panic, several of the drawings got flung into the air, and Lapis, standing where she'd been hiding in her approach, caught one, looking at it with a complicated emotion on her face. "What is this?"

"Oh my stars! I'm sorry!" Peridot apologizes as she snatches the drawing out of her hand and crumbles it up, "I'll destroy it all, please forgive me!"

"Peridot!" Lapis raises her voice, trying to get through Peridot's panic. "Calm down please!"

Peridot instantly shuts her mouth, her body tense with worry as she stares at Lapis, waiting to see what she'll do.

Carefully Lapis takes the crumbled paper back from Peridot and looks at it again. "Why are you drawing...us...fused?"

Peridot lowers her eyes, trying to force the tension out of her body. "Um, well, you see..." She hesitates, trying to figure out how to explain, and decides to start at the beginning.

Slowly at first, she explains how, while working on the drill for getting to the Cluster, Peridot and Garnet had had disagreements over her fusion, which had culminated in Garnet offering to let her experience fusion for herself. Ultimately she couldn't go through with it, she wasn't ready for something so intimate, especially with someone that had been an enemy until recently. But time had passed since then, and Peridot felt that she was somewhat ready now, to at least try. But the thing was,

"The only one I want to try fusing with...is you..." Peridot says with her eyes on the ground, not seeing Lapis blush for a moment. "But I've heard about what happened between you and Jasper, with Malachite. I _know_ you don't want to fuse after that. You already have issues with water because of how long you spent under the ocean so there's...there's no way...AND! And..you mean so much to me...I could never ask you...But I can't stop thinking about it..us...what we would be able to do together, what we'd look like," Peridot lets herself have a soft smile, "I wonder what we would be like." But then Peridot roughly shakes her head, as if to fling the thoughts from her mind. "But I can't!"

Lapis is stunned as she listens to Peridot pour her heart out to her. Her thoughts drifted back to her time with Jasper. She honestly hadn't thought to much about the fusion itself, what she had hated most about the experience was the sick joy she had gotten out of abusing Jasper and dominating her, making someone else her prisoner rather than being a prisoner herself, although even she couldn't lie to herself that she was just as much a prisoner as Jasper. She put herself back in that wretched mirror and the only solace she had for several months was that she could make someone else miserable.

Lapis clasps a hand over her mouth as she looks at the drawing, tears starting to well up in her eyes as she started to imagine fusing with Peridot, and her mind was filled with horrible images of her abusing Peridot, dominating her and Peridot just taking it because she's trying so hard to make her happy.

"No!" She yells out, dropping the picture and covering her face with both hands as she summons her wings and launches herself into the air and away.

"Lapis!" Peridot yells out, trying and failing to grab at her, falling to the ground. She quickly pushes herself up and sprints as fast as her little legs can carry her after her friend. "Please come back!" She calls after her, but it's useless. Lapis is too fast, and she's already out of sight. "Lapis..."

For a short moment she simply stares at the sky where Lapis had disappeared. "Steven!" She sprints straight for the barn, scrambling around the assorted junk for a minute trying to find her tablet. Frantically she tries to video call Steven, fumbling with it for a moment before taking a breath and pressing the button. The tablet vibrated and beeped for a moment. And Steven didn't answer. "No! Not now! I need you Steven, please!" She redials, and just as the call was about to time out, Steven answered, looking slightly flustered.

"Sorry Peri, I couldn't find my phone in my blankets, haha, what do yo-"

"StevenLapisflewawayImadeamistakeandI'msorrrrrry!" Peridot whined as she very quickly tried to explain what had happened.

"What?! Hold on Peridot, I'll be right there!" Steven says, a look of panic only momentarily crossing his face as he ended the call.

For a moment Peridot can't find the strength to move, it's only when she spots the meep morp Lapis had been working on, a rock slab with an image of Steven, that Peridot stands and starts making her way towards the Warp Pad. Her body feels heavy with guilt over what had happened. As she gets close to the Warp Pad there's a flash of light as Steven arrives, running over to Peridot and hugging her.

"Peridot, which way did Lapis go?"

After a moment Peridot manages to collect herself enough to look up at the sky, remembering which way Lapis flew. "She...went that way." Pointing somewhat Southeast. Without hesitating Steven pulls Lapis to the warp pad and warps them to the Temple, where Amethyst and Pearl are standing in the kitchen where he left them a moment ago.

"Ste-man, Peri, is everything okay?" Amethyst asks, looking very worried for her friends. Pearl also looks concerned though she doesn't say anything yet.

Steven is pulling Peridot outside though, only able to give a quick, "I'll explain later!"

Once outside and on the beach, Steven quickly scans the sky to the southeast. "There!" He says, pointing. Peridot just barely spots Lapis flying on the horizon and heading out into the ocean.

"Darn." Steven mutters, realizing that it's going to be difficult to track her now. "Peridot," He turns to the distraught green gem whose hand he's still holding. "You have to tell me what happened."

"I..." Peridot hesitates, "I made a mistake..."

"Yeah, I get that." Steven frowns, "But what happened?" Steven's mind raced through various ideas, is Lapis panicking about the Diamonds? Something about the mirror? Malachite?

But Peridot just closes her eyes and whimpers, her body starting to shake with heavy sobbing as she starts crying.

Steven sighs, feeling a little frustrated, but knowing he needs to be there for Peridot. Knowing that they're unlikely to catch up to Lapis right away, Steven carefully pulls Peridot into his arms and hugs her, letting her cry for a moment.

"I...was in the cornfield." Peridot finally starts to say, her sobs slowly stopping. "A while back, *sniff* Garnet offered to fuse with me, so I could understand her better..."

Steven smirks at this. _That sounds like Garnet alright_.

"I wasn't...I wasn't ready then, but I think...I want to fuse with Lapis..."

Steven has to resist the urge to squee at this revelation, which is easy once the real problem hits him like a sack of bricks. Malachite. "Oh..."

"I was drawing ideas for what I thought we might look like. I...I know how bad her last time was, so I wasn't going to bring it up anytime soon. I just wanted to play with the idea. But Lapis found me in the corn field, she saw my drawings." Peridot closes her eyes tightly as she holds tightly onto Steven. "I'm sorry..."

"Oh boy." Steven groans. Things just got very complicated. But now Steven has an idea where Lapis might be going. He glances again in the direction he saw Lapis flying before pulling Peridot back towards the house. As they entered the house, Garnet was just warping in, and looked a little surprised to see Peridot.

"Peridot? Steven, what's going on?" She hops to the side, seeing that Steven is pulling Peridot to the Warp Pad.

Pulling Peridot onto the Pad Steven quickly asks, "Garnet, is Lapis on Mask Island?!"

Slightly confused, Garnet still reached up to touch her shades, a reflective glare briefly passing over them. A small smile comes to her face as she says, "Yes, but Steven-"

"I've gotta hurry Garnet!" Steven says, waving his hands to try and activate the Warp Pad to Mask Island...

But nothing happened.

"Steven...the Warp Pad on Mask Island was broken during the Malachite incident." Garnet reminds Steven, who starts blushing in embarrassment. "Here, I'll get you close." Garnet steps onto the Warp Pad and activates it, leaving Pearl and Amethyst behind.

"So...it's Lapis this time?" Amethyst comments, starting to make herself a sandwhich.

"Apparently." Pearl mutters, worried about Steven, but she had seen Garnet's smile, so she figured that everything was going to turn out alright according to Garnet's Future Vision.

"Man, we really need to stop having Steven fix all our problems." Amethyst grumbles, annoyed that Steven is having to fix yet another emotional breakdown.

"I know!" Pearl bemoans.

* * *

Some time later, Garnet helps Steven and Peridot get to Mask Island, where they're greeted by the Watermelon Stevens, who immediately on arrival start trying to usher Steven towards the cliff area where the Watermelons had sacrificed one of their own to Malachite. While worried at first, Steven was relieved to see Lapis just sitting on the cliff looking out at the ocean, with a couple Watermelon Stevens around her.

"Lapis!" Peridot calls out, quickly sprinting over to the blue gem. Lapis jumps a little with surprise, but doesn't run away. She just gives Peridot a sad, almost apologetic look. Steven is also about to sprint over but Garnet grabs his shoulder, holding him back.

"Garnet?"

"This is something for them to sort out. But I know they appreciate you being here for both of them."

The Watermelon Stevens, seeing Peridot approach, get up and join Steven and Garnet, leaving the two alone.

Not seeming to know what to say, at least for the moment, Peridot takes a seat next to Lapis, dangling her feet over the edge. After a minute, Peridot takes a deep breath and tries to start.

"Lapis...I wanted to apologize for my drawings, I kno-"

"You don't have to apologize Peri, you didn't do anything wrong. I did." Lapis cuts off Peridot's apology, taking the blame. Peridot of course tries to speak up but Lapis shushes her by putting a finger on her lips, turning to face her fully. "Please, just let me talk."

Peridot nods, after which Lapis pulls her hand back and moves to sit closer.

"You know, I never realized how hard you worked...to keep me happy. Thanks to you, I was so caught up in being happy for the first time in thousands of years, that I didn't realize how much of a burden I was on you."

"You're no-" Peridot tries to deny that Lapis is a burden but is quickly shushed again.

"I am, if I wasn't, you wouldn't have felt you had to hide...those pictures..." Lapis gives a sad smile as she thinks about those pictures, trying to focus on what they meant for Peridot. "Thanks to you though, I haven't had to think much about...Malachite, though it probably hasn't been healthy for me to avoid what I went through. And as much as I've enjoyed our time together, I don't think it's a good thing that I've let you distract me so much from the...darkness inside me."

Not wanting to get shushed again, but wanting to support Lapis, Peridot carefully places a hand on Lapis' and holds it.

"I spent over five thousand years, trapped in a mirror with a cracked gem, screaming without a voice, trapped in reflections of my own memories. Steven saved me, like he saved you, and he even healed my gem...but I was, and still am broken inside. And I don't think even Steven can heal that. I tried to return to Homeworld, but everything was so different, so...wrong...and then Homeworld imprisoned me, treated me like a criminal, as if I was a Crystal Gem and forced me to come with you and Jasper."

Peridot becomes decidedly nervous at this, remembering her time as Lapis' interrogator, but Lapis doesn't mention this and just keeps talking.

"After Steven and the Crystal Gems wrecked the ship and Jasper asked me to fuse with her, I knew it was a bad idea...but I was so angry. I wanted someone to take out my anger on, and Jasper...was convenient...And then Malachite...I've...talked about some of that...when Steven brought me on that, uh, boat trip. I never spoke about it with you though...did Steven?"

"No! All he would tell me was that Jasper showed up and you launched her into the ocean."

"Jasper had been following us...me... She had wanted to fuse with me. She didn't care that I hated her, that _everything_ about Malachite was just _bad_. She called me a monster, but she wanted me to be one, fused with her. For her, fusion was just about fighting, the power. She wanted to fly. She said she was the only one who could _handle_ my power. She didn't care that if we fused I would just use her to take out my...anger and frustration. She was willing to let me hurt her and let out all this pain I have inside on her. And...part of me wanted that...I had been...I still...I _miss_ Malachite. I hate myself for it, but part of me is still so _angry_ and wants someone to take that out on. That's why I ran away from you. Because I'm afraid that I'll just end up hurting you...and you'll just _let_ me."

Tears are freely falling down Lapis' cheeks as she pours her heart out. Peridot squeezes Lapis' hand tighter, as much to keep Lapis from running away again as to show how much she's there for her.

"I'm scared. I'm scared of the anger inside me. I'm scared of being hurt again, of being trapped. But most of all, I'm scared of hurting you. You've done so much for me, tried so hard for me. I don't want to ever do that to you."

"Then we won't fuse! It's not-"

"Don't say it's not important! It is. Fusions...are relationships given form. My relationship with Jasper, Malachite, was horrible. But," Lapis briefly turns to look back at Steven and Garnet in particular. "Some relationships...are good."

Garnet takes off her shades for a moment so she can meet Lapis' eyes, giving her a nod and a small smile.

Turning back to Peridot, she continues. "We...we have something special Peridot. You make me happy when nothing else does. I'm scared that if we fuse, the anger inside will ruin what we have...but I can't keep running away. I'm still scared, but if it's you...I think I can try."

Lapis stands up, gently pulling Peridot up to, who gulps nervously.

"Do you...still want to fuse with me?" Lapis asks, her voice hopeful but scared.

"I...I do...but I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to." Peridot briefly glances over at Garnet, her own memories of the time she tried to fuse with them coming to mind. "I don't think its something anyone should feel pressured into."

"Thank you, Peridot. But part of me has been wanting to fuse with you too, I've just been...scared of that thought."

Peridot nods and they slowly take each others hands, and start trying to dance together but awkwardly stop, too nervous to find a rhythm to dance to. They nervously chuckle for a second before turning to Steven.

"Um, would you mind...helping us out Steven?"

"On it!" Steven says excitedly, turning to one of the watermelons next to him, "Can I borrow a-"

The Watermelon Steven is already holding up a ukulele to him.

"Oh...okay, thanks!" Steven is only slightly put off. They were created by him after all, not surprising they would love music and have instruments handy. He quickly fiddles with it a bit, making sure it's tuned right before he starts strumming, working towards a soft melody. He closes his eyes as he sits near Lapis and Peridot, letting his mind wander over his memories of his two friends. He remembers everything they had both been through, when he met each of them and how they got to where they are now. He's barely aware of the sound that starts coming from his instrument, and the smiles Peridot and Lapis have. They come together again, and start to dance together, mostly just holding onto each other as they turn in circles, but after a bit, Peridot starts taking the lead a bit, since Lapis is becoming hesitant.

"If you need to stop, just say it."

"Thanks Peridot." Lapis says, as she suddenly pulls Peridot into a tight hug and they both start to glow, the fusion beginning.

After a moment, the light fades, and Steven opens his eyes.

"Woah!"

* * *

Author's Commentary:

Surprise! I'm a Steven Universe fan! And I majorly ship Lapidot. It hasn't happened yet in the show but fingers crossed! Now, this one-shot takes place sometime ambiguously in Season 4, between the whole Zoo arc and the "Are you my Dad?" episode. After this I should have the next chapter of CoS out soon-ish, hopefully before Dragoncon (which I'm going to, I'm so excited). I also seem to have a lot of one-shot stories bouncing around in my head lately, so I think I'm going to fall into a pattern of LoZ, one-shot, CoS, one-shot, repeat for a while.


End file.
